Nadine the Nobody
by Cidni
Summary: After exposing herself to be less than "run-of-the-mill". Nadine has to deal with the backlash. Unfortunately, without any alternatives she is swept along into a whirlwind of adventure and romance? All Nadine has to say in response is... "Fils de salope!" Cover image done by Freckled Knight.
1. Nadine and the Misfits

One minute it was raining and the very next- it was not.

"Où suis-je?" a water laden woman asked coyly. _Where am I?_

Dr. Killenger stood behind her, clutching tightly to his magic murder bag. "Now, now," He said his thick German accent muddling the words, "Stop being a silly billy, I know very well that you speak English." He hovered over her, standing far too close for comfort. She edged forward and with her curious blue and brown eyes, looked out at the intimidating décor around her. Thirteen tall and ominous looking chairs were placed around a table in the shape of an "M." The only color that was in the room came from the red velvet that covered the seats. More interestingly, she noticed that near the door, adjacent to where she stood, a large rectangular window displayed a large array of stars.

"Well?" the German said encouragingly.

"I demand to know where I am," she said, her voice _nearly_ wavering.

"Look around," the man replied, twirling madly in a circle as he gestured to the room around him, "Where does it _look_ like you are?"

"Well," she started, thoughtfully, "It looks like space…" She shook her head, "But we were just in New York not 2 minutes ago."

"Your eyes do not deceive you!" the man replied enthusiastically, "Now… Come! Join your new brethren!" Then he guided her, unwillingly, over to the large, hexagonal doors. As if by clockwork, the doors opened with a whir and a group of misfits shuffled through.

"Good lord!" a head wheezed from a red cloaked body. "What is _he_ doing here?"

"A better question," replied the other head, "Is what are _they_ doing here?"

A pool of water began forming at her feet as droplets fell from her long black and white hair onto the floor. "Please," the woman begged, as she turned to the strange _doctor_ that had brought her here, "I'd really like something to change into."

Ignoring her, Killenger seized her by the elbow and towed her forward.

"Fils de salope!" she muttered angrily. _Son of a bitch!_ "I demand an explanation!" She pulled herself free from his grasp and seethed.

"Yes," a slight, bald, oriental man said, stepping forward, "I think we could _all_ use an explanation."

"All in due time," the German assured.

Whilst brooding in the center of it all, the hostile woman locked eyes with one of the misfits, a man who was all torso and covered entirely in purple. "Hello," he said his melismatic voice resounding softly in her ears, "I am called Phantom Limb, however, should you prefer," he said eyeing her, "you may call me Hamilton." Then unexpectedly an invisible force took her by the hand. Horrified and caught off guard she began to wretch away.

Chuckling, Phantom Limb said, "I'm sorry my dear, I thought it would be evident from my name that my limbs are invisible." He smiled sheepishly, "I apologize if I took you by surprise."

She warily eyed the man, "No harm done," she concluded cautiously.

"Hello?" said the white-haired head that was attached to the red-shrouded body. "Uh the rest of us are here. Mind introducing yourself?"

Nadine pulled the wet white strands of hair out of her face and unapologetically proclaimed, "I am Nadine." Though her hair had begun to dry, pieces of it still hung limply about, and her clothes clung to her soaking form. She may not have been _intimidating_ she seemed to stand her ground.

"I'm Dragoon," wheezed the original head.

"-and I'm Red Mantle" The other said humbly.

The petite oriental man, who had stepped forward earlier, introduced himself as Doctor Z. While the hulking man, in a purple pin-stripe suit, who stood at the very back of the group gargled out the name "Wide Wale."

Finally, the two faced man stepped forward and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you." Then screaming and flailing his arms he finished, "I'm Radical Left!"

"Killenger," said Red Mantle, "What is the meaning of this? You can't just disappear mysteriously then come back with some- some." He paused for a moment and turned to Nadine, "Say, why are you here?"

Nadine shrugged, "Honestly-"

"See!" he exclaimed, "That's my point exactly! You can't keep doing this!"

"I brought my soaking friend here," Killenger said, "To join you."

Multiple objections fired off in the room and the only two people who did not argue loudly, were the doctor and Nadine, who just fidgeted quietly amidst it all.

"Please," Killenger said as the room quieted, "Hear me out!"

"Allow the Doctor to speak," Phantom Limb said.

"Thank you, Hamilton," Killenger replied, bowing his head. "Nadine is not just some random person off the street. Though it may be true that she is not registered with the guild- she has an extraordinary power-"

"—No! No!" Nadine argued, "I'm one hundred percent _normal!_ "

"Because you see…"

"NO!"

"Nadine is a shape-shifter."

Nadine pulled at the long white stripe in her hair, her big brown and blue eyes cast downward as the group stared at her in awe. A blush rose to her cheeks and for the first time, admits these strangers, she seemed to shrink away.

"Another one?" Dragoon belted, "Good God, no! We don't need another one!"

"How can we decide on this?" Radical Left roared with his mighty southern accent. Then he calmly stated, "Councilwoman one isn't even here."

"Now, now." Phantom Limb cooed, addressing the men around him, "There are enough of us here to make that decision, wouldn't you agree? After all, it would be a _majority_ vote."

A murmur of approval moved throughout the room. _Apparently_ Phantom Limb wasn't the only one who harbored resentment towards the absent member.

"Excusez-moi," Nadine said quietly, "But what of my opinion? No one ever said that I wanted to be part of-of whatever this is."

"Well," gushed Wide Wale, who inched ever closer to the girl, "I don't know the exact situation, but I assume that you were trying to get away from something." He licked his lips devilishly, "or _someone."_

"Yes." Killenger confirmed, "Not ten minutes ago you were doing your best to avoid a group of O.S.I. agents." He shrugged, "If you aren't comfortable here, perhaps I ought to take you back to them."

"Nope. Okay. Yeah, I get it." Nadine quickly retorted. "Whatever you guys want."

"Then let's take a vote," Radical Left started calmly. Then he roared, "All in favor?"

Surprisingly, one hand on the Dragoon-Red Mantle hybrid raised, as well as Radical Left, and Wide Wale.

"Wait!" Phantom Limb said urgently, "I just wanted to clarify that my hand was raised!"

"I think that this is a grand mistake!" Doctor Z warned. However, it was _four against two._

"Four against two," Phantom Limb said warmly, "Welcome to the Guild of Calamitous Intent. More specifically, welcome to the Council of Thirteen."

Nadine looked around expectantly, but before she could ask Phantom Limb said, "Yes well, it will eventually be thirteen."

"Hey Guys," an irritating voice sounded from the door way. "Sorry I'm late for the shuttle it's just… you know how Proteins are!"

"Doctor Phineas Phage," Dr. Killenger greeted, "Be sure to welcome our newest councilwoman."

"I'm sorry," Nadine interrupted impatiently, "It's really cold in here. Can I please get something to change into?"

"Who is this, "Phage asked.

"I'm Nobody," Nadine replied silkily, her French accent caressing the name.

"That is actually quite good," Phantom Limb said, "I mean, for your alias."

"What no- I just meant.. you know, that I'm unimportant."

"No," rasped Dragoon, "It's got a ring to it. It is certainly a good name for a shape changer."

Everyone seemed to be in agreement- except for Nadine.

"That settles it!" Phantom Limb said theatrically, "Henceforth you shall be called: Nobody!"

"Guys," Phineas Phage started, "Seriously, what is going on?"

"I just want some warm clothes," Nadine quietly uttered, verging on tears.


	2. Nadine the Nobody

Nadine, now dressed in red and black Guild Wasp Clothes, sashayed over to the mirror. While there, she inspected herself and smoothed out her hair, pulling some back from her round, rosy face. Paranoid she looked down at her hands - normal hands – and sighed.

"Don't take all day," Red Mantle wheezed from outside the door.

"Coming!" replied Nadine. She glanced at herself once more in the mirror and made her grand reentrance.

Wide Wale let out an appreciative whistle. "You clean up nicely, yes indeed."

Disgust crossed Nadine's face briefly before she allowed herself to go back to her neutral expression.

"Thanks," she said evenly.

"Well," Phantom Limb exclaimed. "Let us get back to business, shall we?"

"Wait," Nadine asked looking around, "Where's Killenger?"

Collectively their eyes darted to and fro- each surprised with this thought-provoking turn of events.

"Oh, he does that," Dr. Z said causally. "It's best we pay it no mind."

"As I was saying…" Phantom Limb began.

Nadine, knowing very little about what exactly she had signed up for, decided it was best if she were to just sit quietly and try not to make a fuss. However, there was a matter of seating arrangements. Did she want to sit over by the intimidating, mob-inspired, whale villain? The two-headed freak show, half of which disliked her? The two-faced man who was prone to dramatic outburst? Or the somewhat charming, yet, certainly _older_ gentleman clad in purple? Wide Wale smiled reassuringly and patted the chair next to him- charming Phantom Limb it was.

As she settled in next to Phantom Limb, she couldn't help but notice the smug look he shot towards the larger villain. Phineas Phage moved towards the table and glanced over the council members.

"Actually," he started vexingly, "I just came to tell you guys that while I appreciate the offer… I don't really feel as though I can accept."

"Very well," Doctor Z spoke up, "I never particularly like you anyhow."

"Wow. Geez," Phage responded hurt. "I just don't think it's a good idea. After the Guild was destroyed-"

"-The Guild was destroyed?" Nadine asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"No. No. No." Phantom Limb exclaimed. "It was _nearly_ destroyed, however, now The Guild can rebuild and be stronger than ever!"

"Yeah, whatever," Phage responded, "Any Guild that you're a part of," he said, pointedly looking towards Phantom Limb, "Is doomed from the start."

Though Phantom Limb looked as though he was going to respond, Doctor Z quickly intercepted him-

"So… Is that all?"

"Uh. Yes. I guess?" Phineas Phage replied.

"Then," the man pointed at the door. "You may see yourself out."

"B-But we are in space!"

"You may _leave_ the way you came." Phantom Limb hissed.

With his head bowed he exited the room on his metallic legs.

Clearing his throat, Phantom Limb tried to begin again. Throughout the remainder of the meeting Council members argued over the following: whether Meteor Major was _actually_ a meteor, whether or not the station required new computers, whether the station should be painted to look more menacing, and whether or not they should use the station as their base, after all it was rather _inconvenient_. Thinking on the poor, albeit terribly annoying, Doctor Phineas Phage, something pressing crossed Nadine's mind…

"Putain! How am I supposed to leave the station?" _Fuck!_

The other members looked at each other curiously.

"Well, uh, that's… well that's an interesting question." Phantom Limb began.

"Wait!" Radical Left said excitedly, "Councilwoman one didn't come to the meeting. So you could use her suit."

He looked so proud of himself. Breathing a sigh of relief Nadine settled back into her seat.

"We will review The Monarch's case next time… seeing how Dr. Whatever isn't here." Phantom Limb finished. "Meeting adjourned!"

The other villains shuffled out of the door as Phantom Limb gathered the materials from the meeting. Noticing that Nadine had not joined the others he moved over to her.

"Is something the matter?" he asked kindly.

"I don't know if it would be wise to return to my apartment," Nadine said contemplatively. "After all, those O.S.I. guys showed up at my college." Then, after a moment, she added, "I also have zero way of getting back in touch with you people, so…" She slumped in her seat and pressed into the red velvet.

"Well," Phantom Limb began begrudgingly, "I suppose you could stay in my spare bedroom. While you are establishing yourself."

"Really?"

"I don't see why it would be an issue."

"Why, thank you," she responded, "Hamilton."

"The pleasure, my _dear,_ is all mine."

"Could you maybe help me with something else?" Nadine asked looking up at him with her mismatched eyes.

"Perhaps." He said, somewhat warily.

"Could you help me put on my space suit?"

As their shuttle moved towards earth, Nadine couldn't help but observe the station in awe. Though she looked out of one large, rectangular window, several such windows existed elsewhere on Meteor Major. Perhaps one day, she would have the time and privilege to view them all.

Noticing the woman in awe, Hamilton chuckled to himself. This would certainly be interesting.


	3. Nadine and the Tummy Growl

After the shuttle back to earth, the pair took a taxi to Phantom Limb's apartment. As they approached the building, Nadine couldn't help let out an audible gasp. The building itself seemed to reach out from the stars that hung in the night sky. It was surrounded by a well maintained shrubbery and the entrance consisted of tall, looming doors. Phantom Limb gave her an encouraging smile and the two entered the building together. However, shortly after entering they heard the thundering footsteps of Wide Wale.

"Why hello," he gargled, "I didn't expect to see you so soon after the meeting." Then he nodded at her companion. "Phantom Limb," he said curtly.

The three of them strode over to the elevator and quietly entered. Each man pressed his respective button and the elevator lurched upwards. At the first 'ding' Phantom Limb exited, Nadine trailing behind him.

"Well," Wide Wale said licking his fishy lips, "If you ever get tired of Grandpa just know I'm only two floors up."

The doors closed on him and they watched as the light from between the crack ascended further up until it had disappeared entirely.

Hamilton leaned in closer to Nadine and said, "Don't allow him to frighten you." He paused. "He's beneath you."

Nadine nodded.

She followed him down the narrow hallway and only stopped short enough to avoid plowing straight into Hamilton.

"It's just here," he said nodding towards the looming red door in front of him. She gulped, hard, it wasn't like her to be nervous, but faced with this ominous red door and the strange man before her, she could help but tremble slightly.

"Well. This is it. My humble abode." Phantom Limb said throwing open his front door in a grandiose display.

Polished wood floors and a well lit foyer greeted the pair. An antique vase, situated on a table near the door, was filled with purple carnations. The further into the apartment she walked, the more ornate her surroundings became. Ornate furnishings and decorative rugs were scattered across the cast room. Despite the overwhelming lavishness of her surroundings, Nadine was drawn, like a moth to a flame, to the large bookcase that stood tall and proud amongst Hamilton's surroundings.

"It's mostly Romantic British Literature," Hamilton purred from behind her, "I take it you're a fan?"

Nadine nodded reverently. "I was in the process of receiving my masters in British Literature."

"How lovely, perhaps I've finely found polite company to discuss Blake's greatest works with."

Nadine smile. "I'm assuming you have strong opinions on 'The Marriage of Heaven and Hell?'"

He laughed boisterously, "What intelligent mind doesn't?" He cleared his throat, "How rude of me. Allow me to show you to your room."

She followed him through the living room, past the kitchen, and to a hallway.

"This is my room," Hamilton said nodding towards one door. "And this," he stopped at the end of the hall, "Would be your room. Well, rather, where you'll be staying."

Nadine nodded evenly.

After a moment of silence Hamilton look at her expectantly. "Well?"

Nadine shook her head. A perplexed look etched over her features.

"Don't you want to see if the room is to your liking?"

"Yes, of course! I'm terribly sorry." And with that she opened the door.

The room was relatively plain, with white walls and sparse furniture, but the sheets on the queen-sized bed were silk.

"Thank you… I really appreciate this." She said to her gracious host. "I'm not sure if it would have been entirely safe for me to return to my apartment."

He nodded, "Yes, well, I've been meaning to ask you about that. Killenger mentioned that the O.S.I. was interested in you."

Nadine crossed the room and sat down on the soft bed, "I've only recent obtained these… these." She grasped for a fitting word before finally settling, "-powers. This kid, Dean I think his name was, started falling and." She bit her lip, "There isn't a way to say this that won't sound odd."

He chuckled and joined her on the bed, "Try me."

"I turned into an Albatross, swooped down, and caught him. I guess some people caught it on their JPhones and shortly after these men in blue and white O S.I. uniforms are swarming all over the place!"

"If I may, I have quite a few questions." Hamilton said.

"Yes?"

"Where and how was this boy falling"

"Fifth floor, Liberal Arts."

"They still haven't fixed that?" He said taken aback.

"Sadly, no."

He shook his head, "How many students must fall before they fix that gaping hole?"

"I don't know," she replied her voice growing serious, "I just don't know."

"Back to the matter at hand," Hamilton said curtly, "How exactly did you wind up at Meteor Major?"

"I was avoiding the O.S.I. when Dr. Killenger came upon me. He grabbed me by the arm and told me that he could take me somewhere safe. I just nodded at him. Then he opened his umbrella and I was suddenly at Meteor Major."

"Do you really not remember how you got there?"

"I _do_ remember how I got there! That's how I got there. It was like magic." Then lower she added, "or something…"

Nadine kicked her guild issued boots off and crossed her long legs.

"That's what you get for doing a good deed." Hamilton chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess so." She smirked.

"I guess it would be pretty easy to avoid them because… you know. You're ability."

"Oh no." she said shaking her head. "I-I have very little control over it and I've only ever changed into various animals." Then she added, "mostly I just prowl around as a cat!"

Phantom Limb stood up from the bed. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said." She replied earnestly.

"You can't be serious!"

"What? What's wrong?" Nadine said straighten her posture.

"When we voted.. we assumed that you had a full range of powers! None of us thought to check because Killenger recommended you…" then he went white as a sheet, "I will never hear the end of this. While Shelia us gone I'm expected to reign the other council members in. I'll never be trusted again! I-I be a laughing stock!" He ruefully buried his face in his invisible hands.

"Woah, hold on. Okay. We can fix this." Nadine said approaching the distraught man. "Everyone seems to think I'm already very powerful. We could- I don't know… train. And no one needs to ever know!"

"No. NO." He said mournfully. "That'll never work!" Then he brightened. "Wait!" he said, "I have any idea! I can train you and The Council never has to know!"

Nadine looked at him pointedly, but said nothing.

"Alright. Off to bed and then we get an early start on training tomorrow!" he clapped his invisible hands and smiled devilishly.

He started to leave, however he stopped in his tracks when he heard Nadine speak.

"Could we maybe get some dinner? I'm starving!"

Hamilton looked over at a clock that hung on the white walls of Nadine's room. 6:30.

"I suppose we have the time," he admitted begrudgingly. "However, we will have to… order out!"

"Cool."

They ordered from this little pizza place that Wide Wale had suggested. They were luckily able to agree on a margarita pizza. It was delicious. Though Hamilton was eager to get to bed. Him and Nadine stayed up quite late discussing Petrachan sonnets.

 **Hey Guys! I've decided to update my story. I did a couple of revisions!**


	4. Nadine and the Naked Surprise

Nadine laid half asleep and covered in silk. It enclosed around her bare body and she snuggled further into the bed. Her breaths were even and relaxed and her eyes lightly held shut. That is- until her bed room door crashed open.

"We've overslept! We need to begin training immediately." Phantom Limb shouted as he pulled the covers off of her. Though he would not generally wake someone this way, he was afraid of what the consequences might be were the others to find out the truth about his companion.

She shrieked and tried frantically to cover her naked body while Hamilton desperately attempted to advert his eyes and a flush came to his face.

"I-I didn't know." he stammered, for once at a loss for words.

"I don't have any clothes!" she yelled. Tears welled up in her heavy lidded eyes as her long, thin arms tightly groped at her supple chest and she clamped her thick glossy thighs shut. She blushed from her ears to the tip of her toes.

Eyes still adverted, Hamilton leaned down and picked up the comforter then tossed it over to the ruffled woman. She rushed to conceal herself.

Hamilton attempted to apologize, however, Nadine barked out several expletives in her native tongue and he rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Once she was finally alone, Nadine straightened up on the bed and sat there quietly for a moment, to regain her composer. She couldn't help but wonder how much the older man had seen of her.

Slowly, she got out of bed and began dressing herself in the clothes she had worn last night. Turning to the vanity mirror, she brushed the white strands hair out of her face. She looked a lot older due to this feature, though hadn't always been that way. The white hair that framed her face was a recently acquired attribute. She sighed, but she had always had the oddly mismatched eyes. Children might have picked on her had she attended a public school. She shook her head. Best not to dwell on the past.

She made her way over to the door, braced herself, then thrust it open. Hamilton was in the kitchen, she could hear him bustling about. Her quick, deliberate steps caused the wooden floors to illicit noises as she walked.

"Good morning, my dear." Hamilton seemed to sneer as she entered the kitchen. He was wearing his signature purple costume.

Placing her hand on her hip, Nadine breathed out hard and glared at the man. There were several words that sat on her tongue. _Asshole. Con. Pig._ But she said none of these, instead she sat down on a barstool that was situated at the kitchen counter.

"Did you sleep well?" he purred at her suggestively.

"Bite me," she replied, "This uniform is terribly uncomfortable. I couldn't have possible slept in it." She pulled at the oversized collar then held out her leg to emphasize the ridiculously shaped pant-leg.

Hamilton moved slightly, perhaps to hold up an invisible limb, and smiled at her expectantly.

"What are you doing?" Nadine spat.

"I'm holding out my hand. Reproachfully." He replied dramatically.

"Well I can't see that," she said crossing her arms.

He sighed and shook his head, "Déjà vu."

"Is there coffee?" Nadine asked.

Hamilton started to motion towards the coffee pot, then remembered that doing so wouldn't do any good. He shook his head at himself, then curtly replied, "Yes."

"Excellent." She said as she strode over and made herself a cup.

"We should begin training immediately! However, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" he exclaimed. "So what would you like?"

Nadine held up the cup of coffee. "Good enough for me." Then she took a swig.

"I-I just made that. It's really hot." Hamilton blurted out.

But from the expression on her face, he could tell she already knew.

"Hot! Hot!" she said then rushed over to the sink to cool her mouth under its outpouring water.

Hamilton shook his head. _What a childish thing to do._

"Are you quite finished," Hamilton said snidely.

Nadine looked up, embarrassed. She stood upright and turned the water off. While she gulped down water, from the sink no less, she had completely drenched her front side. "Yeah," she replied meekly.

Hamilton tsked at her and said, "Fool or no, we really must stay on task." He leaned against the counter. "This may be more difficult than I initially thought."

Nadine looked more than a little ashamed.

Hamilton looked her over, "You certainly can't wear that out. Wait! I have an excellent idea. Stay here." He exited the kitchen and dispersed into his bedroom. Nadine sat down and twiddle her thumbs. _Great. Now she looked like a complete imbecile._ She sighed and rested her head against her palm. She reflected on everything that happened and how unbelievable recent events had been. At least one good thing came of joining "The Guild," she knew she wasn't crazy and that her abilities were very real. Or at least she hoped that was the case.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Nadine stared at it as one stares down a loaded gun. Though she made no movement towards the door. The knocking grew louder and more aggressive and before she realized what she was doing, Nadine was nearly to the door. She anxiously peeked though the peephole. Outside the door stood a woman with dark black hair, an angry expression, and obvious guild attire.

"Hamilton," said the surprisingly masculine voice from outside the door. "I know you're in there!"

Nadine looked desperately in the direction of Hamilton's bedroom. Biting her lip, Nadine decided the best course of action was to confront the woman outside. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Hi," she said awkwardly.

"Who the hell are you?" the woman asked. "Hamilton. HAMILTON!"

"He's busy at the moment. Can I maybe help you?" Nadine blurted out.

The woman looked Nadine up and down. "I don't know who you think you are or what your goal is, but let me tell you something: It is not going to work."

"I'm N-Nobody, newest member of the Council of Thirteen, obviously you are here for guild business." Nadine responded.

The woman looked taken aback, but then frowned. "Hamilton," she called past Nadine. "If this is some attempt to make me jealous… it's not funny." Fed up, the woman pushed past Nadine and into the foyer.

After a time, Hamilton finally exited his bedroom, with what appeared to be a garment made out of transparent plastic hung over his invisible arm, and looked at the scene before him.

"What on earth is the matter?" he asked.

Nadine was on the ground and his ex girlfriend, Shelia, stood over her.

"Tell me where he is or I swear to God you'll regret it." The woman said menacingly in her deep voice.

Hamilton cleared his throat. "Shelia, my dear girl, you might want to rethink how you treat the newest councilwoman."

"Shelia" looked up in disbelief. "You mean you were telling the truth?" she said looking down at Nadine. Nadine nodded profusely.

"Oh," she said in jet husky voice. "Hamilton. You mind explaining _how_ she became a member of the Council?"

"It was voted on. Majority ruling. She just so happens to be a shape shifter." He replied matter-of-factly.

Shelia sighed. "I couldn't even get a courtesy text?" she said mostly to herself. She shook her head in self response. "I don't even know why I bother. I came over to review the meeting notes, perhaps deal with an issue or two, but I can see that enough damage has been done this week. No! This month." She daintily raised her hand to soothe her brow. "Just. I don't know. Make sure she at least understands what she's a part of."

She turned to leave. "By the way," she said suddenly to Nadine, "I'm Dr. Mrs. The Monarch." And with that she left.

Hamilton and Nadine exchanged curious glances. "Ah," Hamilton said as he walked over to where stood. "I've got something for you to wear." He held up a garment, if you could call it that, and Nadine looked, the little that there was, up and down.

"Nuh uh," she said backing away from the outfit. "No way."


	5. Nadine and the Flamboyant Intruder

"I'm not going to wear that," Nadine howled.

"It would look ravishing on you."

She glared at him, "Even if I thought it would fit . I would not wear it!"

Hamilton draped the Queen Etheria costume across the back of a velvety sofa and sighed. "What would you propose that we do."

"Well," Nadine started thoughtfully, "We are supposedly doing this in relative secret correct?"

Hamilton nodded.

"Then we don't want to stand out." She looked pointedly at him.

"What?"

Nadine blinked.

"I don't have much else to wear," Hamilton exclaimed, finally.

"Well," Nadine pursed her lips, "what do you have?"

The two rummaged through Hamilton's closet in order to piece together a decent outfit. Nadine left him so that he could change and when he pushed open to reveal the result, Nadine noticed how his hair was stark white. All in all, it wasn't a terrible outfit, though, it was a bit mismatched. He wore gray slacks, a white dress shirt, grey gloves, shiny black shoes, and a long tan trench coat.

"But what will you wear," Hamilton asked, his eyes meeting Nadine's.

"Well," Nadine said thoughtfully as she leaned against the back of the sofa. "We could maybe grab some of my personal effects from my apartment ."

"You said, yourself, that it might not be safe." Hamilton argued.

"I can't really go shopping in this," she indicated her absurd appearance. "And anyway, aren't you one of the most feared members of the guild?

Having appealed to his pride, Hamilton beamed, "Why, yes. Yes I am."

"Then you, of all people, should be able to protect me, right?" Nadine pushed.

"I suppose..."

"It would only be a few minutes." Nadine paused. "Unless you are not up for the challenge."

And with that, Hamilton seized Nadine's hand and marched them out of the door, through the lobby, and to the street. Then he whipped out a phone, muttered a few words, and a car appeared minutes later. He opened the door for her, then climb in himself.

"Where to?" Hamilton asked her.

She gave the address and twenty minutes later the two arrived at her apartment building. When they had finally arrived at the shithole that Nadine once called 'home,' Hamilton lifted his nose in disgust. "This is where you live?" he asked baffled. Nadine glanced over the decrepit building, taking care to note the graffiti-ed walls, broken windows, and the poorly maintained cement that lead to the front door. Unabashedly, she responded, "Yes." If anything, the apartment complex looked more like a sleazy motel.

After pushing open the front door, Nadine apatheticly greeted a homeless man who sat on the stairs mumbling to himself. "Excuse me!" she said scooting around him- careful to avoid his _obviously_ piss stained coat. Then she and Hamilton climbed four flights of stairs and headed down a poorly lit hallway. Nadine listened carefully, just outside of 421b, then opened the door.

The interior of the apartment was not nearly as unappealing at the hallway. And other than the peeling wallpaper and faint smell of mold- the apartment was actually rather homey- or perhaps it would it have been if it wasn't in a complete state of disarray. Chairs were turned over, glass from picture frames lined the walls, loose paper and books were scattered about the room. One thing, however, particularly stuck out. There on the counter sat a glass of water with fresh ice cubes. Both Nadine and Phantom Limb took the defensive.

Deafeningly, the bathroom door crashed open and a tall, well-muscled man in an O.S.I. uniform exited. "Ugh," he said ostentatiously, "I hate stake outs… they can be so… icky." Unfortunately, after his long stretch he turned towards where Phantom Limb and Nadine stood.

Upon being noticed, Nadine coughed then said tartly, "I thought that most stake outs didn't involve _home invasion."_

"Oh calm your tits princess," he replied sassily, "I'm just here to make you an offer." He sashayed over to the pair then thrust an envelope at her. "Here."

"Is that all?" Phantom Limb snarled, ready to pounce at the jaunty gay man.

"Ooooooh," he taunted, "What got your purple jumpsuit all in a bunch?"

Nadine looked down at the envelope in her hands. "What's in this?" she asked.

"I honestly have no idea." He responded, "Shore Leave by the way."

"No you leave," she retorted.

"Girl." He snapped, "You are too much." Then he looked over and Phantom Limb and said, "Well I guess I'm out of here. Ta ta for now!" He began to walk out the door, however, he paused and added, "By the way…" he said looking Nadine over, "Red is _soooo_ not your color."

"Was it really necessary to make such a mess?" Nadine called after him. Then she turned to Phantom Limb and said, "I shouldn't be too long." His mind, however, was on other things.

She went about the room collecting various books and salvaging various keepsakes. Then she searched her room for clothes. After collecting a respectable amount she spun to her partner. "Should I change now?" she asked. "Hamilton?"

"Hmm.. ah yes."

She excused herself and changed into a pair of simple blue jeans and a white, long sleeve, button up shirt, a deep forest green cardigan and white Mary Jane's with cats on the front. Then gathering up her things she asked, "Shall we?"


	6. Nadine's Transformation

Their previous vehicle had sped off leaving Hamilton and Nadine to look out into oddly deserted New York street.

"I'll call for a cab," she assured Hamilton as she whipped out her phone. Luckily it was still amongst her things back at the apartment.

"No need." He replied smugly before dialing a phone of his own. Less than three minutes later a Guild Limo stopped besides them.

After a respectable amount of time, he climbed in after Nadine. In the vehicle two strange men, in traditional red and black Guild Issue clothing, looked up at her and rasped excitedly, "Welcome to the Guild of Calamitous Intent!"

"I'm Watch."

"And I'm Ward."

Nadine started to introduce herself. "I'm…"

"Nobody." Ward finished. "We know."

"Actually, I was going to say Nadine." She retorted.

Before either party could continue, Hamilton interjected, "Nobody and I plan to go for a brisk walk in a park."

The two red and black clad men looked at each other questioningly. "Central Park?" Watch offered.

"No," Hamilton replied, "too crowded!"

"Snug Harbor?" Ward suggested.

"No!" Hamilton snapped. After a time, he turned to Nadine. "Excuse me, my dear, have you ever been to Fort Tryon Park?"

She shook her head, "No. I haven't really had the chance."

"They have lovely hiking trails and it is secluded." Watch interjected.

Nadine shrugged, "I can't object to that."

"It's settled then," Hamilton replied flamboyantly, "Take us to Fort Tryon!"

Nadine leaned in and whispered go the other men, "Is he always like that?"

"Pretty much." Ward replied.

They arrived at the park and it was filled with lush greenery. Trees as tall as skyscrapers were laid out as far as the eye could see. The park was massive.

Hamilton stepped out of the limo and extended a gloved hand to lift Nadine from out of the car. He pulled her close. Closer than comfortable. She tried to pull away, but he held her steadily. Watch and Ward unwilling witnesses, to this seemingly affectionate display, shifted uncomfortably.

Watch coughed. "Well, we better be off now. Just…"

"Call us if you need anything," Ward finished hurriedly.

The two rushed back into the vehicle and soon they had vanished into the skyline. Only when he was certain that they could no longer see, Phantom Limb let go of Nadine.

"What was that for," she spat angrily.

"Well, what exactly do you suppose that we tell the guild about our regular visits here? It's simply easier to start the façade of a romance than explain your current predicament." Hamilton reasoned.

"By holding me unwillingly?" Nadine laughed, "Is that your people's idea of romance? Surely no one will fall for that."

"The rumor mill runs rampant," Hamilton said as he wandered further into the thick forest. Nadine trailed behind, obediently. Once he was certain that they were alone he striped off his coat and rolled up his sleeves.

"Let's see it then," he said enthusiastically.

Nadine stood in front of him and concentrated with all her might. Then, in a whir of color and flash of light, suddenly a cat appeared where Nadine had stood. It's thick fur was straight black with the exception of the startling white patch that covered it's right ear. The creature looked up at Hamilton and meowed and Nadine's mismatched eyes stared at him.

"Fascinating," Hamilton breathed as he edged closer to her. "Try another form."

The cat stood, shook out its fur and turned unacceptably, only to be enveloped in a bright light. Now a huge, black dog with similar features and pointed ears sat in front of him. He laughed gleefully.

"Another!"

The dog stood and glared at nothing in particular. Frustrated, the beast turned it's head angrily and seemed to strain. Until finally, Nadine was once again before him, on all fours, panting and out of breath. She shook her head vigorously.

"Can't." She coughed out.

Hamilton frowned, "I must admit: I expected a lot more."

She was still bent over, trying to regain her breath. After a moment or two she eased into a normal rhythm and pulled herself to her feet. She was drenched in sweat. Wiping her forehead, she pushed her now damp hair out of her face.

"Another." Demanded Hamilton, unsatisfied.

"But I can't."

He shook his head. "If you aren't even going to try to push you limits, then what's the point of training?"

She started to argue but instead did her best to comply. _Bird._ She thought as she clenched her fist. Her eyes shut tightly and she gritted her teeth. _Bird._

Then it happened, a black and white feathered bird squawked excitedly as it flew over to Hamilton. It perched on his shoulder and looked at him intently. He picked up his invisible hand to rub the underside of her chin. She affectionately cooed then took flight

He chuckled warmly. "Yes," he said to the enthusiastic bird that circled him, "I knew you could do it."


End file.
